Category: My life philosophy

Your New Year’s revolution

It’s New Year’s Eve! Quickly come up with a New Year’s resolution! One that will make you a better and happier person and/or will make the world a better and happier place. One that you will never stick to.

Because, let’s be honest – when do we actually stick to NY resolutions? On average, it can take about two months to form a habit, so by the time the end of February arrives, life has gotten in the way and we barely remember what it was we wanted to achieve or change. So let’s do ourselves a massive favour and scrap any NY resolution. Instead, let’s admit to ourselves that by now we wasted enough time. Time living daily lives without a spark or passion, time feeling sorry for ourselves, time waiting for something or someone to motivate us, time searching for excuses. NY resolution will not cut it because it stands no chance against our daily life, lack of motivation, self-pity, excuses… Our search for excuses happens quite often subconsciously – our personal circumstances are an excuse, weather is an excuse, health is an excuse. Do you remember captain Tom Moore who walked 100 lenghts of his garden to raise money for a charity? He received an award as the BBC Sports Personality of the Year for this act. Being nearly 100 years old and relying on a mobility walker, gosh, did he have a list of excuses at his disposal!

So how about this time, instead of waiting to get motivated and setting a pointless NY resolution, we start to transform our lives and change who we are? Little by little, without any massively dramatic efforts, but consistently and with conviction, because little efforts repeated day in day out will have much bigger result than a grand NY resultion.

We can use our will to transform ourselves into almost anything we wish. But yes, you guessed it, it is our will that is our shortfall. Year after year, we are getting softer, less and less capable, and more easily offended and discouraged. We are told to be kind to ourselves, while in fact what we need is to toughen up. We can’t train our willpower by being comfortable all the time!

So here is my proposal – instead of a grandiose New Year’s resolution, try stepping out of your comfort, little by little, day by day. Minor personal sufferings repeated on a daily basis can be truly transformational. So try getting muddy, getting cold, getting hungry, leaving home without a phone, being kind to people you don’t like and eating things you don’t enjoy, carrying on walking when your legs ache. Obviously, in my case, it will be running while my body is over it (but my mind will be ready to rock’n’roll because of the discomforts I put myself through every day). So go find your courage to suffer a little, because it will take you further than joining your local gym (and quitting mid-February).

Speaking of suffering – I am just pouring myself a glass of not-yet-chilled champagne. Happy New Year everyone!

Brace yourself, but don’t pace yourself

I am known for starting races a bit too fast. I’m sure any guide to running or an experienced runner would advise you not to. It’s not a sensible thing to do. I get it. But hear me out.

First of all, ask yourself why do you actually run? If you run just to be fit, read no more. If you run for the adventure, for the hope of beating the former self and perhaps the person next to you, for the thrill of the unknown, and for the tiny possibility of achieving something you have not even dreamt of, then you might understand me.

Most of us will hardly become Olympic athletes (but who am I to limit your dreams) so achieving something that seems beyond our reach is our equivalent to setting a world record or snatching an Olympic medal – whether it is running further than ever before, or faster than you thought you could, or finishing first at your local parkrun (yes, I know it’s not a race).

So how does one achieve something seemingly unachievable? (I mean something unachievable to that individual, while perhaps totally normal for someone else.) Are boundaries pushed by following a plan to a tee? Are new horizons discovered by being careful? Are limits broken by being cautious and reserved? Never!

Let me tell you about my recent marathon and half marathon that took place only six days apart – that is a “mistake” no1. No one would advise you to race a half marathon six days after you raced a marathon. It’s madness. But what if you deep down know you are on form despite Mr Garmin telling you you should be resting? I ran a sub 3:30 marathon which was faster than I thought I could. And so I entered a half marathon the next weekend because I felt there is more in me. My first mile was 20 seconds faster than my half marathon PB pace. My head was saying “too fast”. So I slowed down a bit, and then the 2nd female and her “pack” overtook me. In that moment, I stopped looking at my watch and started following her like a donkey follows carrot. I decided I will be third female and no one will take that from me. And so I ran like mad, without looking back once, with my watch beeping splits some of which were stupidly fast. With every step, I felt like I am making a history – maybe not a general running history, but my own – and skipping over what I thought were my limits. I finished with a sprint just in case anyone felt like threating my position (although, as I later realised, the next female was good 3 minutes behind me). I couldn’t believe my eyes when I checked my watch and it was telling me I run 1:34:39 half marathon. The time I was aiming for was about 4 minutes slower.

And that’s why I start my races a bit too fast – because there is always a tiny possibility that I might just manage to maintain that pace and achieve something I did not dare to dreamt of. I smashed 3:28 marathon and 1:34 half because I did not pace myself and because I had the courage to epically fail. To be honest, in my case, failure is not that uncommon, but before each race I tell myself – whether I fail or succeed, either way it’ll be epic! Whether I crash or triumph, I always leave everything out there on the course.

So do carry on sensibly following your watch if that’s your style. But me, I will run with my heart, with no regrets, dizzy from the excitement that I can occasionally achieve something spectacular, or DNF trying. Either way it’ll be epic!

Dear new runner…

Dear new runner,

So you have embarked on the mad but rewarding journey of running. Whether you are a shiny new runner, or someone who is rediscovering their passion for running, let me share a few words because it is only four years since I started running, so I remember all the emotions and motions as if it was yesterday.

First of all, a word of warning: You are at a serious risk of having your life hijacked by this sport. Actually, running is not just a sport, it is a lifestyle. I could warn you about all the expensive pairs of shoes you soon realise you “need”, and the ever-growing medal collection that will start taking over your living room to your family’s displeasure, but I willl not mention any of that. One thing I will mention is that running is NOT bad for your knees as you’ll hear over and over (and over) from non-runners.

Running is not just about the physical act of putting one foot in front of the other. It is a physical, mental and emotional challenge. One that will potentially transform yur life, your attitudes, your points of view and your perception of time and distance. Above all, running is a spiritual journey of a sort. It’s like a pilgrimage that carries on and on, never to be completed because there is no actual destination, and this time, however cliché that sounds, the journey is the destination.

Just like most of the time in life, you will have support and encouragement of others. Just this time, quite often the “others” will be strangers on the Internet and your running club members who will understand you and your struggles better than your own family will. That is okay. And quite often, despite all the support, you will be alone to search and find your own strength, battle through setbacks and experience feelings that only you as a runner understand.

So what I would like to say to you – believe in yourself and do not let anyone or anything discourage you. Running is an activity that is all about you and you can make it whatever you want it to be. You will and should do things your way. Because your way is the right way for you. (Unless you do all your runs at race pace and don’t foam roll, in which case your way is totally wrong 😉

And finally, you will be surprised how quickly all the things that now seem impossible will be within your reach. Then you’ll realise the real reason why we all do it – to achieve something we never thought we could. And this feeling, once tasted, is so addictive that it won’t ever let you go. So good luck and congratulations because you have just taken the first step on the journey to forever change your life.

Motivation to run: my three tips

I typically display (mildly annoying) enthusiasm for running. Motivation is my middle name. I am always excited to go for a run no matter the time of the day, the weather, the niggles… But believe it or not, recently, I’ve been struggling to motivate myself and far too many runs felt like a chore rather than a pleasure, which is scary for someone who takes pride in being a joy runner. Not sure if it’s the time of the year, the lack of sunshine, the fact that I have no immediate races to train for, the combination of all, or something entirely different, but every time I go for a run I genuinely struggle kicking my own butt outta door. Yesteday, I postponed my morning run to the afternoon, and am already dreading the upcoming club 5K time trial.

So, when all the “standard” motivational techniques fail, and/or you are the one who is normally the motivator, but now you are in a desperate need of some motivation, try my three “last resort” motivational steps:

  1. Force yourself

That’s right. Sod motivation. Just force yourself to do it. Say you “must” run because that’s what you do. It’s your duty. It’s your thing. Your life depends on it. If you stopped, you’d lose your identity, you’d lose yourself, you’d lose the confidence boost and the sense of achievement that you love so much. The fear of loss is a motivator strong enough to spring one into action.

  1. Bribe yourself

I’m a master of bribery. I found it’s an excellent way to make my 2 yr old coach comply. Just like I bribe my child, I bribe myself. Carrot is often more effective than a stick. I promised myself a hot bath with a glass of prosecco after my 10 mile run yesterday afternoon. So if running justifies afternoon lazing in bath and sipping bubbles, than running is what I want to do! Try whatever works for you. Pay yourself a pound for each mile ran – an excellent running shoes fund! Or promise yourself a slice of cake! Eating cake after a run is always better than eating dust and not running! Whatever works for you. Promise yourself the world as long as it gets you out of the door.

  1. Run because you can

What can be a better motivator to run than the fact you simply can. Every time I run, I think of all those who would love to run, but cannot, and of the time when I was and will not be able to run. I feel like I need to run because I owe it to them and most of all I owe it to my past and future self. Being able to run but not running, should be a criminal offence. If you were gifted with functioning legs, you need to use them for something better than getting from the sofa to the fridge (although that sometimes seems terribly far away). You ought to run, now, today, because you can, and because there is no guarantee that tomorrow you will be able to. But today, today, you’re fortunate enough you can, so get those running shoes on! Your future self will thank you.

Happy running 🏃‍♀️

So long, 2020

The next person who says they can’t wait for 2020 to be over will get slapped. (Worry not, I’ll sanitise my hands beforehand.) Now, in all seriousness, I am tired of hearing “I just wish this year was finished already”.

First of all, why would anyone wish away the time that was given to them? To me that is an insult to those who do not have such gift. Time of being alive is the most precious thing given to every single one of us over and over again, yet we all take it for granted and only when we are at the end of the road, we realise that there wasn’t enough of it to do all we wanted. We have to stop wishing time away and start appreciating every second of it, whether it is a second of joy or sadness or pain, because quite often, pain is better than no feelings and no sensations whatsoever.

This September I did a 10K race at Dorney Lake. Initially, I was really excited about it, because it was my first race since lockdown and also my first 10K race this year. It didn’t go well. (I was on a second course of antibiotics and only just getting to back normal after a minor running injury.) The race was extremely painful and felt incredibly difficult, and the result was so disappointing I cried at the finish line. Still, it was a positive experience of a sort, because as I was running (and suffering), I thought of all the people who couldn’t run; all the people who consider conquering 10K a lifetime achievement, no matter the pace; all the people who would love to experience my pain because it is nothing compared to the pain they are feeling… So if this race was 2020, I can put my hand on my heart and say that, although it was crappy, I gave it my all, achieved the best I could given the circumstances, and grew a little stronger and wiser.

I appreciate that everyone’s 2020 represented different challenges and pitfalls. I have to admit that introverts like myself found social distancing and restrictions much more manageable than extraverts. (No social functions to attend, yay!) Although I cope quite well with not seeing my friends and family, I am still heartbroken after leaving a job and company I loved. So yes, everyone had different challenges to overcome, but the bottom line is, sitting around and dying for 2020 to end is no productive use of one’s life.

Also, why do people think that 2021 will be any better than 2020? We have absolutely no guarantee of that. It can be just as, or even more horrendous than 2020. (And there is a pretty good chance that it will.) But what if 2021 is our opportunity to stop waiting for good things to happen and for the world to return to its old self. We cannot just sit around and wait for outside conditions to be favourable in order to start living.

Frodo (sitting in a dark cold tunnel of Moria, probably hungry, with no spare clothest and all sorts of nasty creatures trying to track him down to kill him) said: “I wish none of this had happened.” Gandalf’s reply was: “So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

So while we might not have the power to change the current circumstances, what we have is the ability (a gift and an obligation) to decide how we spend our time.

Let’s stop wishing the world was different. Instead, let’s search for that silver lining and make the crapmost of the current circumstances regardless of what they are. Use that time. Achieve something. Make yourself proud. Inspire others. Be thankful no matter what. And by doing all that, you will play your own little (but important) part in changing this world and making 2021 better for yourself, for those close to you, for everyone.

So long 2020 and happy 2021!

Welcome to Lockdown 2.0

It’s fair to point out that this lockdown is little less lockdowny that the previous lockdown. Apart from toilet rolls availability (yay!), the main difference is that schools are staying open so the joy of getting stuck in school run traffic is here to remain. Also this time, we know what to expect which isn’t necessarily a good thing. The financial impact aside, just like last time, the more extraverted you are, the more you are likely to suffer in the next four weeks. Socialising in pubs and cafes with friends? Forget it. Going out for a meal? Dream on! (Ahhh, remember the good times of Eat Out to Help Out scheme?) Non-essential shopping therapy? Not a chance.

For me as a busy parent and an introvert, very little has changed, but I know many people who struggle greatly with the idea of being limited by the lockdown rules for another four weeks (minimum).

Given the change of season and cold weather, it is going be so easy to give in to self-pity, TV, booze and take-outs. Besides, we have cleaned, reorganised and decorated every inch of the house during the previous lockdown, so what’s left to do other than binge watch Netflix and try to survive until the pubs open again, right?

But how about living, rather than surviving? I mean, you have nearly a month of “solitude” so why not emerge on the other end as your better self, rather than someone who earned a million Pizza Hut loyalty points and is a Tiger King expert (is that show still a thing?). This is your chance to surprise the world and exit the lockdown smarter/faster/stronger/leaner/healthier…

Let’s be realistic – it would be extremely difficult to get a six pack in four weeks, but you can start creating positive habits that will continue when lockdown is over. Go for a walk or a run (and bring a friend along because Boris allowed you to), do that online course, start cooking healthy (no, no more banana loaf!), meditate, embark on a push-up challenge…do whatever it is you always wanted to do. Because just surviving is not good enough. So many people would love to have more time in the world and they don’t. You do. So don’t you dare insulting them with this “just surviving” nonsense. Time is precious. So whatever it is you always wanted to do – start now! As in N-O-W. Chop chop!

I ran 11 miles today so if you excuse me, I shall put my feet up and enjoy my well-deserved Friday feeling. Looking forward to hearing all about your lockdown activities and if you need a kick in the bumbum, I’m here to help (=annoy you) as always! 😀 😎

The return of the segment ninja :)

It’s a common knowledge that I used to hate running (and sports in general). I was a nerdy kid. I wore old-fashioned clothes and read Harry Potter while J. K. Rowling still lived in a cardboard box and The Witcher before it was translated to English. Perhaps it was all the books, or perhaps something else, but I always felt very much limited by the streets of my home town. I felt I didn’t belong there because the town just didn’t get me. I was freaked out by the possibility that I would lead a little life locked in the cage of “normality”. So when the first opportunity presented itself, I ran (not literally because at that time I still hated running).

That was over 17 years ago. Since then I have been all around the world and have done and experienced more than some (most?) will do in their entire lifetime. Whenever I have (briefly) returned to my home town, I felt proud because each time I came back crowned by another little success (whether it was a uni degree, a new job, or a different country I have visited/lived in). Today I have returned once again, for a brief time as usual because I am afraid that if I stay too long the town will cage me and lock me up. Today, when I returned it was different than any other time in the past.

First of all, I started the day with an epic segment session when I smoothly took all the Strava segments in the neighbourhood. Given the fact that I was nothing but a nerdy unfit kid when I left, being able to comfortably outrun any female Strava users in the area is just something that blows my mind. And that’s not all. It’s not just the running side of it. This time I arrived back to my home town with a full house….wait….a royal flipping flush in my hand. For the first time in my life I feel like I have it all. Did I mention I run fast? Yeah, that. Plus I feel healthy and great and fit. I have an awesome kid (=an annoying little bugger). I work for the most British airline (for now….loving the furlough life). I live at a place that feels like real home. I have friends I can count on and belong to a supportive community of like-minded nutters (runners). I feel content and at peace. And I have finally met the man of my dreams, although I had very little dreams left in that department and was certainly not looking for any man at all.

So this geeky kid that took a risk 17 years ago, came back to her home town knowing it was all worth it (yes, it was bloody hard work) and that she finally has it all.

“Feeling lucky” does not even come close to describing how fortunate and grateful I consider myself. So maybe, just maybe, this all means that if you keep the faith through the tough times and take some risks instead of following the easy path, you’ll be rewarded for it in a much better way than you can ever imagine 🙂

My running milestone

I just ran 1000 miles!

Obviously not in one go. I ran 1000 miles since the start of 2020. Just to put it into perspective, the previous year I ran 392 miles in total, so I am very proud of myself right now.

Just like going from no running to some running 3 years ago has changed my life, the big mileage increase has changed my life yet again. 2020 is considered to be a horrendous year with a huge amount challenges that affected pretty much everyone, including myself. I used running as an excellent way to put my life problems into perspective…or to avoid them completely (whichever way you want to look at it). In the process I found friendship and love, peace of mind, some confidence, massive gratitude and joy, and most importantly an ability to share it with others.

However cliché it sounds, every single one of those miles helped me become a better person, not just physically but also on so many different levels. I feel really fond of all my miles because they are full of memories – memories of joy, of greeting strangers with a smile, getting thumbs up from passersby as well as being frowned upon, feeling free as well as struggling, loving life as well as wanting to give up, being soaked, lost, sweaty, euphoric, exhausted, determined… It definitely was more than mere exercise. For me, it was (and is) a means of soul searching and finding myself…and I sure do like the person I have found in me.

Let me leave you with my variation on famous Proclaimers’ lyrics:

I just ran a thousand miles, and I will run a thousand more.

Here is to running! Whatever your motive is – just keep going!

#13x13challenge with buggy: Day 10

Date: 10 June 2020

Miles today: 13.25

Total miles: 132.7 and counting

Highlight of the run: Apart from running with my lovely fellow Dasher Louise, the other highlight was exploring Harmondsworth Moor which is quite literally next to my work but I never got the opportunity to discover all of it. Gorgeous spot!

Miss you British Airways 😘

Doing my little #13x13challenge I am lucky to get loads of praise that includes me being called amazing, inspirational and even a “remarkable athlete” (which is my favourite one as I hardly think of myself as an athlete, never mind a remarkable one). While snooping through Strava today, I came across this mad woman who does ridiculous mileage, and a half marathon is just her every day warm up. What I am trying to say – if you are trying your best, don’t let anyone make you feel like that’s not enough. The only person you should compare yourself to is your past self. And make sure you are better than that person! Whether it means running your first mile, getting your 5K under 25 mins, or aiming for your first ultra – it is always an amazing achievement as long as you give it your all.

So give it your all! 🙂

#13x13challenge with buggy: Day 7

Date: 07 June 2020

Miles today: 13.1

Total miles: 93.3! I am now finally the boss of our club’s weekly leaderboard (for the first and most likely also the last time ever). Over the moon!

Hanging in there 🙂

Highlight of the run: Discovering there is a double espresso caffeine gel (thanks Steve!). Can I just have that each morning instead of my coffee?

Another run with a fellow Datchet Dasher today, yay! And because we are sad sad people, we wore our club vests while talking about Strava segments and VO2 max. I felt it was appropriate to “dress up” (yeah, in lockdown times, wearing club kit is considered dressing up). After all, it is Sunday and on Sunday you should wear your best outfit when going to the church. Running and going to a church are activities that suprisingly have more in common than you’d think. You know the feeling when you step into a cathedral and just go “wow”. It’s the combination of high ceilings and gold plated ornaments and statues and paintings and the smell, that leave you in awe and feeling humble and small. Isn’t it just the same when running outside in nature? It’s just “wow”. The sun and sky and fresh air and water surfaces and greenery… I always feel humble surrounded by all the beauty, but I don’t feel small. I feel powerful, strong, on the top of the world, and most importantly eternally grateful for everything I can experience ❤

And what are you grateful for? 🙂

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