Complainable compliments

Compliments! You may tell yourself you don’t care about them but secretly you love them. Everyone does. It’s human nature. I enjoy complimenting people and guess what – no one ever complained about receiving too many compliments. However…

It’s widely known I am a little weird and adore people’s weirdness (or uniqueness if you wish). This often means that I end up complimenting something no one else would find complimentable, nor compliment-worthy.

Imagine this scene: Monday 9 am work meeting. The programme manager (who is a man of perfect suits) walks in wearing a suit that is considerably different to his usual plain black, well-fitted, expensive and boring piece.

Me: “Oh your suit is so 90s!”

Him: *smiling confusedly*

He never wore that suit ever again, although I genuinely liked it and found it refreshing. Sigh.

Some of my other “legendary” / unfortunate compliments are:

I love the shape of your skull!

The chocolate stain on your uniform matches your eyes.

You pee as fast as you run.

Your jaw line is a genetic treasure.

I love your annoying work emails!

Your sweat smells lovely.

I swear to you, all of the statements above are positive and meant as genuine compliments. Some would (and did) disagree. Hence, recently in an attempt not to scare away this dude whom I called a caveman (a compliment!!!) I had to clarify:

If at any point in future, you are unsure whether I am insulting or complimenting you, it is always the latter.

And same applies to you gorgeous people! Whatever weird words come out of my mouth – they are intended as positive statements. After all, we live in a world full off nastiness and drama, so we should celebrate the little quirky things that make us special.

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