The man I fancy

Oh Valentine’s Day! Everyone is suddenly all lovely dovey and emotional as if there were not other 365 (leap year!) days to do this crap. All those compulsory flowers and chocolates and nonsense made me reflect on the topic of love and attraction. So let’s talk about it. How it normally works – you meet someone you are attracted to, start dating, until you realise he is a pain in your bottom and you end up complaining you “picked the wrong man again”.Or did you?Girl, think of your “wishlist” and imagine the perfect man turning up tomorrow. He will be gentle and caring and considerate, will listen to you and take you shopping and do the chores on a regular basis…. You’ll be over the moon – but how long will this last? Ladies, we think we want this “perfect” man, and the moron we end up with is not right for us, but we might just be fooling ourselves.Reflecting on my life I always liked two types of men:

  1. The king of the party. He’s the best, the loudest, the most outrageous, everyone gravitates towards him, girls are all over him, men want to be him. He’s 100% confident, gives no crap and takes no bs.
  2. The nerd. He’s not at the party because he’s at home reading a book or watching a movie. He’s not at the party because he just does not want to be there. He’s 100% confident, gives no crap and takes no bs.

In my younger years I used to go for type no1, as I grew older I started preferring no2 because strangely no1 sucks my energy out while no2 charges me up. Either way, both types used to make me frustrated, until I met Mr Perfect. He was so perfect that he bore the hell out of me and I had no other choice than to dump his arse.After a huge amount of self-reflection I came to a conclusion that my wishlist has to be changed from “gentle, kind, considerate” to “independent, secure, weird”. Why? Because I don’t want to sit on a sofa with someone who can be my brother. I am attracted to someone who amuses me, who makes me chuckle, who surprises me (whether pleasantly or not – I don’t care), who does not drop everything to be with me, who makes me little unsure and unsettled, who challenges me, who looks into my eyes as if the world was going to end and he had one last kiss left, who does not need me nor he needs my approval. I am old enough to know that my happiness does not lie in simply being happy; it stems from being challenged and pushed to better myself. I don’t care for small talk; I want to talk about real, meaningful and perhaps embarrassing things. I don’t want a man who needs me; the man I fancy is the man who is a rock regardless of my presence. I don’t want a man who makes me feel secure; I want a man who frustrates me a little. Because that is the only man who really turns me on and who can get and keep my attention.So girl, next time you pick the “wrong” guy again, just consider the fact that the wrong guy might be exactly the perfect man for you. Happy Valentine’s Day 🙂

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