My New Year's resolution -

He used to ask me for last minute leave. I always told him he should be more organised. He always said he would. We both knew he was not going to be. Because for him there was more to life than just being organised… and he was right.

Too many of us spend an awful amount of time planning life, while he seemed to spend life actually living it. What I am trying to say is: Every morning you wake up, it might be your last one. Every time you meet someone, it might be the last time you see them.

The general perception is that the young ones have a lot to learn from the slightly older generation but what if this perception is wrong? What if it’s exactly the opposite? What if it’s us – the sensible and grown-up ones who should remember what it’s like to have the courage to dream and follow our hearts?

My personal tragedy of late is that I have spent the last year being mega busy working, planning my career, cleaning the house and looking after my gorgeous child, so I had absolutely ZERO time left for self-reflection and thinking about my feelings. Actually, I don’t even know if I had any real feelings (apart from the love for my little one). I haven’t read a single book, I have not been responding to messages of relatives and old friends, I have not felt in love, I have not written anything remotely creative, I have rarely listened to music, I have not been truly excited about anything… Through 2019 I have felt like an imposter of a human being, rather than a real person. This all because I was too busy doing what “needs” to be done.

A recent tragic death of a decade-younger colleague made me realise that my approach to life was not entirely right.
He used to ask me for last minute leave. I always told him he should be more organised. He always said he would. We both knew he was not going to be. Because for him there was more to life than just being organised… So my 2020 New Year’s resolution is to spend less time being organised and more time actually living.