I’m sure plenty of people go / went through the process of deciding whether to have kid(s). One of the arguments not to, is the general perception that you can’t have it all. So if you have a child, you have to sacrifice other aspects of your life. Especially as a single mum. You simply can’t be a good parent, bring home the bacon, have an actual career going on and look good. It’s impossible. Or so they say.
But those who know me, understand that there is no limit to my stubbornness and determination. So I decided I will have it all. My @Derrys_Diary is 18 months old. I am slimmer than ever and this year I ran 5K, 10K and half-marathon PBs which suggest I am fitter than before I had a baby. I got a new job while still on maternity leave, and five months later I successfully got into another new job that is proving to be the perfect role for me. Besides finally having flexibility, I am able to use the creative as well as logical part of my brain, within an industry I am passionate about and in a company I adore. It is a dream come true.
Yes, my little one has to stay nine and half hours a day in a nursery but I swear to you – for both him and me this is more beneficial than spending 24/7 in each other’s company. He gets the opportunity to play with his peers, learn some social skills and experience all the songs, messy art sessions and similar things that are just not my thing. At the same time, while he is in the nursery I have an opportunity to be me – as a professional, not as a mother. Win-win. I believe this makes me a better parent indeed, because I seem to have more patience for his little toddler dramas and tantrums.
It would be delusional to deny that there are sacrifices to be made pretty much on a daily basis, but to me they are just little trade-offs rather than massive life-limiting sacrifices. So this is a message to those who are told that their life is about to be totally over and to those who blame the lack of career and/or exercise on being a parent. It is possible! It is possible to have it all providing you find the motivation and flexibility – because as they rightly say “if there is a will, there is a way”. Always. And I am a living proof of that.